Listen, online dating sucks. I don’t care if you’ve been successful.. you know it sucks. It is 100% the worst way to meet people.
First you have to meet their internet persona and figure out if you even like that part of them enough to like move onto the whole meeting in person thing. I haven’t made it to that part yet…
Well, I actually did briefly and then he essentially was completely full of shit and thank goodness because really hindsight.. I dodged a big giant hot mess of a bullet.
You see, I started out with stars and hearts in my eyes and full trust. I mean why wouldn’t the first guy I talked to on a dating site be like ‘The’ Guy. I am a pretty great person.. so why wouldn’t it be THAT easy for me? It wasn’t. It wasn’t that easy at all. And it’s continuing to not be the slightest bit easy. You really to have to weed through some weirdos, assholes, dummies, pretty boys, quiet guys, creeps, pick me guys, liars… so on. I even had someone ask me if I could get them weed. I can’t make this up.
Anyway.. It’s not often I come to the realization that I am essentially better than anyone. I mean I know I am. It’s human nature. We’re all actually better than someone. There really isn’t like one person who is actually just at the very bottom of people. Well, I mean there is.. but I don’t want to make this a political post so I’ll just move on. But a simple fact about me is that through all of my bullshit… I at the very least have my shit somewhat together. Sure I am certainly a jerk 45% of my life, I am picky and super bossy sometimes and I really don’t like people when I’m not in the mood for people. However, I have a solid job, I am pretty attractive, I am hilarious, I am one hell of a writer (Case in Point)… and you know how I know all of this with pure confidence? I surround myself by some of the best people. People that I know wouldn’t be around if I wasn’t as actually great as I am. Have you met my friends? They’re all insanely amazing.
So why am I even having to go online to date? Or to try and date.. or to find someone who would be suitable to date?
Because I live in a town of 5,000 people.. and I am pretty sure I’ve exhausted my efforts in my fair town. And I’m actually not really market ready if I’m being totally honest with myself. I really need to get into shape again, I should probably do my dishes more than once a week, I absolutely could stand to wash my car for the 3rd time in the 10 years I’ve owned it, I maybe could not drink to the point of a blackout 3-4 times a month (which I know doesn’t sound terrible but I only drink on the weekends.. so), I should also maybe try a hobby that isn’t blacking out, binge watching Real Housewives of Everywhere, or seeing how quickly I can actually devour a bag of Smartfood popcorn…
I think online dating is actually only the worst when you’re not actually ready for what you’re about to encounter. I am getting so frustrated with the bullshit on there. But this little diary like realization post here just kind of opened my eyes to what the real issue is.
I am totally and completely and 100% not ready to even be considering dating. The first guy I attracted into my realm lied through his teeth probably 90% of the time we were talking, the next was a kid who I think wants to actually wear me as a skin suit, and lastly we have Mr Pick Me who has spent a majority of our conversations trying to prove to me that he’s great. I don’t need you to write out proof, bro.. I can usually tell within the first paragraph about your Roth IRAs that you’re probably not that great.
OH and let’s not forget the guy who literally asked me for bud.. I quit.
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