Vine It

Let me tell you a little bit about Vine.

What Vine is to someone who doesn't Vine but has probably seen some:
6 second apps (probably deriving from the Popular Page, that are often funny, musical, or artsy. If you're at all familiar with SmackCam then you have at least heard of Vine. A few years ago when vine first started some comedians, actors, models, etc used vine as an additional platform to showcase their talents. To me at first, Vine was just a way for people with ADD to watch only the funny parts of YouTube videos.

What Vine is to someone like me is way more than that. A majority of the friends I've made in the last year have been from Vine. I started lightly Vining in Montana. I made my own six second videos, made myself laugh and maybe a few others. But at that time, I didn't realize what it would turn into. I'd participate in "tag nights" put on by various "Vine Teams". A Vine Team is basically a group of individuals that join up in a chat app calls GroupMe and suggest "tags" and vote on them. Examples of this would be "Bad Times to Be Drunk", "Weird Party Themes", and "If I Won the Lotto". If you've watched "Whose line is it anyway?" then you'll recognize this idea from "Scenes from a hat". I joined a few of these teams at first. Team Small World Viners, Banned from TV, Banana Hammock Bandits and so on. I found that quite a few of these people were a lot like me. Lonely, artistic, creative, funny, and just real. They were trying to find an outlet. Trying to put their brain on display. And trying to connect with other people like them.

I made real friends in those groups. Some, not all, are people I still talk to to this day! But it wasn't until I joined French Toast Borgata that I really found my place, my voice, and my people. About the time I moved to NC was when a viner I really admired noticed a vine I had made and sent me a message. I had watched a lot of his vines and this man is creative! Phil became a friend of mine instantly. He had asked if I want to join up with the group he was in and I couldn't resist. FTB became my family. Their well known "vine names" vanished and I was able to get to know them all as Ashley, Adam, Jon, Phil, Rich, Chris, Jay, and Melanie. Members have come and gone over the last year. Shortly after I came into the group, someone was added that has really changed my life. I know people say that and I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but its true.

Nadine and I clicked. Instantly. She and I were kind of an opposites attract even with friends situation. She's tough, tiny, strongwilled, and knows exactly what she wants and how she's going to get. She's taught me more about life than she realizes. And in May of this year I drove up to Jersey, stayed with her and she and I went to what is called a Vine Meetup in New York City. I got the chance to meet a whole group of people from Vine and there was zero awkward about it. Because of this app, it was like we all fell into place together. Almost as if we were meant to know each other our whole lives. People that without this app I never would have met and gotten to know.

To me Vine started out as a way to just be goofy, super weird, and creative. It turned into friendships, family, and a real way to connect with real people.

This is why I cannot regret my move to NC. So many people I never would have met and so many things I never would have gotten the chance to do. I've met 20+ Viners in person now. My Facebook and phone contacts are loaded with these people. And I would not change a thing.

The post is dedicated to everyone mentioned above..along with:
Ken, Scotty, Josh, Deshaun, Dashawn, Michael, Tommy, Rah, AJ, Andrea, Genia, Bobby, Tom, Jeremy, Kate, Chris...and honestly so many more. Thank you!

Layover Thoughts

So let's focus on the present shall we? Currently I'm sitting in the Salt Lake City airport heading back to North Carolina.

My heart hurts. I miss my parents already. Maybe the apron strings have always been too tight and maybe I am a huge baby. Maybe I am just extremely fortunate to have the relationship with them that I do.

My mom is my best friend. She is my rock. She is the person who made me who I am. My dad is also my best friend. Also my rock and also made me who I am. My sense of humor is a delightful combination of them both. My stubbornness is definitely from my mom where my spontaneous decisions and unsettling ability to find myself in situations less than ideal is definitely from my dad.

I'm beyond lucky to have two people in my life that I have such an ache to be with. But it's not just those two. I also have two step parents who are amazing humans. Ive known my step dad since I was 15 and he's taught me to trust the good guy. Not everyone has an agenda and not everyone is being nice because they want something from you. Some people are just nice. Same with my stepmom. She has taught me in the short time I've known her that life is a gift and we have to always do things to make us happy. And always do things with a mule or vodka tonic in your hand. Cocktails are not optional.

My brothers are two of my very best friends. They mostly taught me to not put up with assholes and to stand on your own two feet. They almost more than my parents shaped me into the weirdo that I have become.

I am a very lucky girl...one who is coming home to one of the most supportive families a girl can have. I don't regret leaving last year. Leaving only showed to me the importance of family.

Cannot wait to have a few more NC adventures and then head on home to where I left my heart.

Look, Ma.. No Hands!

I thought it was just homesickness. I thought maybe I'd come back to Dillon and feel right about my choice again. I thought I'd miss NC.

Being back in Dillon for these 12 days has shed some new light for me and has given me a vision of how I could actually manage to grow further as a person here. In the town so many refer to as a trap.

I've never actually lived on my own in Dillon. Every time I've lived here I've lived with my mom. I've never really given myself that chance to practice the art of adulting here. I lived here until I was 18. With my mom. I moved to Missoula and lived with one of my best friends for 2 years. I moved back to Dillon for about 2 months. I moved to Wyoming with a boyfriend. We were there for 2 years. I moved back to Dillon and back in with my mom.

I got a lot of grief from people during those next 6 years in Dillon. Maybe they had their own assumptions. But I was a full time student with a full time job and yes...I loved to also party full time. But I wasn't just living in the basement working towards nothing. I had goals. My goals twisted and turned and changed with the wind. I never got to really know me other than the student, who worked full time, and drank a lot. I always was accused of never having any real responsibility. I don't have kids. I've never been married. So maybe to some I didn't have "real" responsibility. That's really all subjective though isn't it? I made the decision a long time ago to not have kids. Oops or otherwise. It's not in the cards for me. And after the relationship in Wyoming fell apart I made the decision to not have one of those again because I needed to focus on me. I needed to learn about myself and get to know me.

Then I thought that I could never possibly get to know myself still living in my mom's basement in Dillon, Montana...so I left. I followed a dream. I was going to be a publicist in a powerful agency. Wear business casual to lunch with my associates and make a shit-load (technical term) of money. Well, I moved to North Carolina. I didn't find that job at that agency and I didn't buy those clothes. But I did learn that I am really good at taking care of me. Living without your backbone is hard. My backbone of course being the support system I've always had. I thought that's how life goes. Make things as hard as possible on yourself and that's how you really succeed.

I always wanted to prove to people that I was a city girl with big dreams and ambitions. And I've learned over the last year that I'm a small town girl with those same dreams and ambitions. And there is nothing at all wrong with that.

"I put one foot in front of the other...I don't need a new love or a new life. Just a better place to die!"

I'm not afraid to admit that Dillon is home. Dillon is my lifeline. Dillon is where I'm going to raise myself even further. People can call it a trap, call me stuck, call me what they will. I'm calling it a revolution.

I did get to know myself in the year I was absent from Montana.
1. I can be a really negative person and when I'm negative my world is negative. And life gets harder.
2. Budgets are crucial no matter how much money you make.
3. I am so afraid of not being accepted I become incredibly two faced. I just like everyone and I've always been that way.
4. I'm incredibly talented artistically. I actually love painting and I hate that I resisted it so hard in high school! (Sorry, Ang..if you're reading this. I wish I would have learned more from you! But there will be time for that when I come home)
5. I enjoy my own company a lot.
6. I really do want to get married one day. Settle down and have a family of golden retrievers.
7. Being alone in small doses is okay, but I'm a people person and I love social interaction.

I learned a lot of this through a hard process. I did something not a lot of people have done. I didn't fail...I just realized that all of those things existed in me prior to moving and now I can bring them all back to Montana, make a life here, and still find time to explore and adventure.

Life is an adventure. It's not where you live. It's what you find inside of you...

My Home is Montana...I Wear A Bandana.. Well not really..

Have you ever taken a chance and it didn't work out?

Have you ever done something spontaneous only to regret it later?
Regret is the wrong word. I find that I don't regret a thing I have done when it is what I had wanted at the time.

Once upon a time I was fed up. I had just completed my degree in Public Relations. I was still living in my mom's basement. I was working for the same company I'd been with for 6 years and I was tired.
Tired of going out all the time. Tired of being hungover. Tired of feeling stuck.

So I took a leap. A leap of faith. I ran 2200 miles away from my hometown, my friends, and my family. I was craving change. I was craving a fresh outlook and I was craving 'new'. It wasn't until I returned home that I realized I was running from something that was inside of me. I ran and still didn't actually 'fix' anything. One of the best things that ever came out of this little journey was that I did find that little hobby of mine. Painting. That's one thing I know for sure I would have never started had I not 'ran'. Had I not found myself so overwhelmed with sadness. Had I not been completely taken by my own boredom. Had I not craved something to get my mind off of the sadness and the horrible loneliness I felt most days. Painting is the one thing I can take back to Montana with me that I will be forever grateful to.

There was a laundry list of reasons I gave to others as to why I was moving. I wanted adventure. I wanted to work in PR and couldn't possibly do that in Montana. I wanted to experience more of the things that life had to offer. One of the biggest reasons was that I wanted my own identity.

I used to get really irritated when people called me "Jake's sister".. or "Ben's sister". I wanted to be my own person. I felt like I needed to get away from all the people who only knew me that way because they would never actually get to know me if they only thought of me that way.

But I forgot... I forgot that I had made a lot of friends that once were people who called me that. Who only knew me like that once upon a time. People who I had met because of the brothers that I have.

I feel like I took this place for granted. Like I took my hometown and the people in it all for granted.

It wasn't until I was walking downtown from the fairgrounds last weekend that it occurred to me just how much I do love this town. I love that I know basically everyone. I love that I can run into 50 people I know in a 5 block walk. I love that my mom and I are so close. I love that my dad and I are so close. I love that I can tell everyone back here that I'm thinking about moving home and that it scares me to admit defeat and 100% of them responds the same. "Are you kidding me? Do you know how brave it was for you to pick up and move like that? Do you know you made a bigger move than most people even have the guts to do? You're not giving up! You've grown up and you've realized where you want to be!"

My business is called 2200 Miles because that's how far I had to go to figure out I love painting and coincidentally that's how I far I went to figure out what's inside of me, what makes me tick, and what makes me me..wasn't 2200 miles away at all.

I'm coming home, Montana. In 2016... I'm coming home.