Hi Lisa!
I am one of those 30 year old girls that always ends up on the shitty
end of the breakup. I have confidence until I get into a relationship.
I've read every "self help" book and listened to every podcast. I get
inspired like someone lit a fire under me for a bit...and then I crash. I
get so needy in a relationship but yet I pay for everything. Needy
emotionally ...but financially sound.
My friend says I don't have enough self worth to really stand my ground
and get what I deserve. Yes I have weight to lose and that hinders
my self esteem but I know there are a million other wonderful things
about me that I need to protect. I just don't know what to do anymore. I
know I won't end up alone but I'm sick of being walked on. I am so
angry with men yet I know really I should be angry with myself for
allowing the bad behaviors.
I've listened to every single one of your podcasts and I just absolutely love your view points.
Help?
-Katie
I sent this on 6/10/2016. And to say this email changed my life is an understatement. From that day forward I hired Lisa Hayes to tell me how to live my life. I needed it. I needed someone to coach me into adulthood. All of these relationship issues were just the tip of the iceberg. The next few months, every time I talked to Lisa I would end up in tears. Because it wasn't at all about being bad in relationships or the dreaded "being needy" that most women are accused of. I truly disliked myself. Everyone else was placed so much higher than I placed myself.
Reading the above email is hilarious to me now. To be completely and 100% honest I reached out to her hoping I could learn something to fix my most recent failed relationship. Maybe if I changed... I could somehow get him to come back. Throughout the process I kept thinking though "If only HE saw how much I have changed and how better I am." It wasn't until probably the 2nd month I was in this thing with Lisa that everything clicked. What I ended up learning was how much I didn't need or want that relationship or anymore similar relationships to exist again.
I was finally growing a relationship with myself. I know people don't always struggle with this. This "self love" thing comes so naturally to some so this process of hiring a life coach and having to work on it when I'm 30 is probably a little... kooky to some people. And that's fine. You can definitely have your opinions on it. I needed this. I didn't know I was okay. Before all of this, I didn't know people could like me just because they liked me. I always thought everyone had an angle. I always felt that if I didn't act a certain way people would leave. Because people have left. And I put it all on me and blamed myself.
2016 was my best year yet because I finally figured out how to love myself. It's necessary and required. And it's the foundation for all other love.
For 2017 I resolve...
To build my relationship with myself.
To continue to take care of myself first.
To paint as often as possible.
To continue to be happy.
