Scrambled Writing, Hold the Bacon

I'm writing this little intro after having written this post and all I got to say is: I don't blame you if you read this and think I'm nuts. I probably am. 

I have started writing again this morning and every time I start I end up sounding whiny and needy. Art imitating life. Ha. I start to write about why I'm not in a relationship. Why I'm single. And as I'm writing I figure out why. I put way too much emphasis on that portion of my life that I forget about the real important shit. The nitty gritty if you will.

I do want a relationship. Although, I ask myself every day why I care to even want one when they're mostly bullshit. But, really, I do want one! It's just that I keep forgetting that I don't actually need a relationship, I never have needed one. I don't 'need' a guy in my life at all. Simple as that. I read an article about "why single girls in their 20s are still single" and it basically said: "Lower your expectations and boost your confidence" Wait what? Conflicting. Why lower your expectations if you have self confidence? That seems counterproductive. I don't even see how I'd need to lower my expectations: Be funny, be kind, be passionate about absolutely anything, be nice to your mom, have friends... I've never asked for a 6-figure guy in a suit with a corner office. (Although, if he is funny, kind and nice to his mom.. give him my number) Just be a f*cking human and treat other people well. 

See - this is the kind of tangent I keep going off on. Maybe I really am finally over being single? I've had a love affair with my single life for 6 years! Maybe it's time for us (me) to see other people (like a male human).

Back to me though: Things are smooth in this life. They really are. I literally have nothing to complain about. I haven't stopped loving North Carolina since the minute I crossed the state lines. I love the people here and the feeling that I get. I love that I don't miss home. I mean I miss people. Of course I do. I miss all of my people back home! But I haven't once thought to myself "Maybe I do belong in MT" because I've never in my life felt that to be true. The heart knows what it wants.. and my heart has never been in Montana.

I don't even know what topic this whole post was supposed to be about. This is how my brain works.

You're welcome.