Have you ever taken a chance and it didn't work out?
Have you ever done something spontaneous only to regret it later?
Regret is the wrong word. I find that I don't regret a thing I have done when it is what I had wanted at the time.
Once upon a time I was fed up. I had just completed my degree in Public Relations. I was still living in my mom's basement. I was working for the same company I'd been with for 6 years and I was tired.
Tired of going out all the time. Tired of being hungover. Tired of feeling stuck.
So I took a leap. A leap of faith. I ran 2200 miles away from my hometown, my friends, and my family. I was craving change. I was craving a fresh outlook and I was craving 'new'. It wasn't until I returned home that I realized I was running from something that was inside of me. I ran and still didn't actually 'fix' anything. One of the best things that ever came out of this little journey was that I did find that little hobby of mine. Painting. That's one thing I know for sure I would have never started had I not 'ran'. Had I not found myself so overwhelmed with sadness. Had I not been completely taken by my own boredom. Had I not craved something to get my mind off of the sadness and the horrible loneliness I felt most days. Painting is the one thing I can take back to Montana with me that I will be forever grateful to.
There was a laundry list of reasons I gave to others as to why I was moving. I wanted adventure. I wanted to work in PR and couldn't possibly do that in Montana. I wanted to experience more of the things that life had to offer. One of the biggest reasons was that I wanted my own identity.
I used to get really irritated when people called me "Jake's sister".. or "Ben's sister". I wanted to be my own person. I felt like I needed to get away from all the people who only knew me that way because they would never actually get to know me if they only thought of me that way.
But I forgot... I forgot that I had made a lot of friends that once were people who called me that. Who only knew me like that once upon a time. People who I had met because of the brothers that I have.
I feel like I took this place for granted. Like I took my hometown and the people in it all for granted.
It wasn't until I was walking downtown from the fairgrounds last weekend that it occurred to me just how much I do love this town. I love that I know basically everyone. I love that I can run into 50 people I know in a 5 block walk. I love that my mom and I are so close. I love that my dad and I are so close. I love that I can tell everyone back here that I'm thinking about moving home and that it scares me to admit defeat and 100% of them responds the same. "Are you kidding me? Do you know how brave it was for you to pick up and move like that? Do you know you made a bigger move than most people even have the guts to do? You're not giving up! You've grown up and you've realized where you want to be!"
My business is called 2200 Miles because that's how far I had to go to figure out I love painting and coincidentally that's how I far I went to figure out what's inside of me, what makes me tick, and what makes me me..wasn't 2200 miles away at all.
I'm coming home, Montana. In 2016... I'm coming home.
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